I think the best thing I did for Shiloh while she was in the hospital was to choose faith over fear and always try to remember that there was light further down at the end of the tunnel!
“It was just last July when my pregnancy was moving along normally. I had an anatomy scan that looked good. I shared with the nurse that I was having some pressure, so I was scheduled for an appointment with Maternal Fetal Medicine for August. Unfortunately, by that next weekend I was in a lot of pain and could hear my OBGYN’s voice in my head saying go to Cooperman Barnabas Medical Center (CBMC) if you think you will need the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). I called my husband to meet me in the emergency department and then called an Uber to get me there.
The health care team was going to admit me for a cerclage when I was diagnosed with a bad infection. I was put on magnesium to buy some time and get steroid injections to help my baby’s lungs to develop. The next morning, at 23 weeks and 1 day gestation, I gave birth to my tiny 1 pound, 4 ounce baby, Shiloh. In the delivery room the staff held her close to her Daddy and me for a kiss and a quick picture before they rushed her off to the NICU.
Everything happened so fast at the delivery that I don’t even remember having time to feel scared. But, when I was rolled into Shiloh’s room in the NICU a few hours later, I was terrified. She looked like the tiniest little thing I had ever seen and was covered in tubes and lines and glowed blue from the bilirubin lights above her.
When I saw her like that, all I could think to do was pray, so I did. I also made a decision in that moment to choose faith over fear. I decided I would try to make each day with my baby in the NICU an opportunity for joy and tried to make each interaction with her one that was joyous and positive. I would read and sing and touch and hold her as much as was possible each day. I did not want her to sense any fear coming from me and I kept praying and praying. With this mindset, I was able to appreciate the NICU as a calm, clean, quiet place to spend time with my baby as she grew. I would take in all the beautiful aquarium photos and baby friendly artwork on the walls as I walked to her isolette to see her each day. Her 11-year-old sister would help me bring good energy to her room on many days as well.
The nurses were always very welcoming and taught my husband and me everything we needed to know to care for Shiloh. They took such great care of her and we missed them terribly when after 99 days here at CBMC we were transferred to another hospital for a surgical procedure, and the last two weeks of her hospitalization.
Shiloh is now 10 months old, is very affectionate, and loves hugs and kisses from her family members. She also loves bath time and is very nosy and crawling all over! I think the best thing I did for Shiloh while she was in the hospital was to choose faith over fear and always try to remember that there was light further down at the end of the tunnel!”
-Shiloh’s mom, Jessica