Shame and fear of judgment stop people from getting help. Here's how to get past that.
Most people wouldn’t think twice about seeking treatment for cancer, diabetes or heart disease—but when it comes to mental health disorders, many suffer in silence. The crippling fear of being viewed differently by friends, loved ones and community members can hold people back from seeking help.
“Some of the negative attitudes about mental health disorders are that they’re caused by a lack of willpower and personal responsibility, instead of being viewed as a disease,” says Robert Winston, MSW, LCSW, Associate Vice President, Behavioral Health at Jersey City Medical Center (JCMC). “There’s a lot of judgment and shame. People worry that others will see them as weak.”
The National Institute of Mental Health reports that while one in five U.S. adults lives with mental illness, nearly 60 percent of those people did not receive treatment in the past year. In fact, the average delay between when symptoms first appear and intervention is eight to 10 years, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). “Unfortunately, the longer you wait to be treated, the more you’re suffering,” says Winston. “Symptoms can get worse over time, depending on what form of mental illness you have.”
The Roots of Silence
“Mental health stigma goes back many, many generations, and it really stems from a lot of misinformation,” says Beatriz Cruz, LCSW, LCADC, Director, Adult Outpatient Behavioral Health Services at JCMC. “Most people don’t understand mental illness.”
“People will have someone who is ill at home, like a son or daughter who stays in their room all day, and the family doesn’t want to tell anybody,” says Martha Silva, a board member and educator for the Hudson County chapter of NAMI. “A question that’s asked a lot is ‘ What are people going to say?’”
Many sufferers internalize the stigma. “Issues can become self-perpetuating, with people thinking, ‘I’m not good enough,’” says Winston. “Therefore, you have this internal demon that’s haunting you.” Delaying treatment also can lead to unhealthy coping habits, such as smoking and substance abuse. “These are things that are going to impact your physical health and just create more problems,” says Cruz.
Taking the First Step
Mental illness encompasses many different conditions that can vary in severity. A major depressive disorder or psychosis requires immediate intervention. “However, even people who experience less severe forms of mental illness—such as mild anxiety or low-grade depression—can often benefit from treatment,” says Winston.
If you suffer from a mental illness and choose to share that you’re seeking help, remember that your illness does not define you. Instead of using a label like “I’m bipolar,” consider simply describing your symptoms in an authentic way. “For instance, you could say, ‘I feel like I want to get up in the morning but I really cannot do that,’” says Cruz. “Or, ‘I used to be able to read, and now I can’t concentrate.’”
If someone comes to you to discuss their mental health, try to be as supportive as possible. “It’s really about creating an environment where someone feels loved and respected enough to be honest about how they ’re feeling,” says Winston. “Try to say positive things. For instance, while men may have a hard time admitting they’re depressed because society expects them to be tough and strong, tell them that doing so actually makes them stronger.”
Encourage your friend or loved one to talk to a professional if they haven’t done so already, even if they ’re not yet open to seeing a mental health expert. “You can suggest talking to their primary care physician about their symptoms first,” says Silva, “and go from there.”
Where to Get Help
For more information on the Behavioral Health Services at Jersey City Medical Center or at any of the RWJBarnabas Health Behavioral Health programs across New Jersey, call 800.300.0628.
For emergency crisis screening services, call the Jersey City Medical Center’s 24/7 Crisis Center at 866.367.6023. “If someone’s having a psychiatric crisis, they can have a full evaluation right through the hospital’s Emergency Department, or the hospital can send a screener to your house to complete an assessment,” says Robert Winston, MSW, LCSW, Associate Vice President, Behavioral Health at JCMC. If you’re in distress, you also can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800.273.8255.
Signs of a Mental Health Problem
Signs of an emotional crisis may come on quickly or over time, according to the American Psychological Association (APA). Indications that help may be needed include:
• Neglect of personal hygiene.
• Dramatic change in sleep habits, such as sleeping more often or not sleeping well.
• Weight gain or loss.
• Decline in performance at work or school.
• Pronounced changes in mood, such as irritability, anger, anxiety or sadness.
• Withdrawal from routine activities and relationships.
• If you think you or a loved one may be experiencing an emotional crisis, don’t wait to take action, the APA says. Timely intervention can make a difference.