When an adult comes to RWJUH Somerset for Eating Disorder treatment, often there is a fear of being alone and misunderstood. This week Beth, a former adult patient shares her experience at RWJUH.
I couldn’t believe it - almost 60 year’s old and facing admission to an eating disorders unit. Who was this man in charge-he sounded so mean and dictatorial! My husband seemed as if he was no longer on my side, since he agreed with him.
I was hysterical - no way was I staying. Initially, I ran out of the hospital. Of course after quite awhile and meeting with Dr. Donnellan again, I realized that this was the right choice for me. I compromised by going home for a day and getting my personal business in order. I returned the following day to be admitted.
Luckily for me, my roommate was in my age bracket. We ended up having a lot in common-emotionally, socially, even medically. Now, I needed to deal with the strictness of the schedule, the rules and regulations. Everywhere I looked, there was a young person. What would I have in common?
In group, I realized that I had developed many of the same eating disorder behaviors that my new young friends used to cope with their own situations - but for a much longer time span.
Through individual counseling with both my therapist and Dr. “D”, I came to understand that I was not only an emotional eater who used food to “fix” the problems in my life, but that I was also an emotional victim. I would consistently go back to the dark places of my childhood, re-visiting old wounds. This contributed first to my binge eating, and then to the other side of the coin - my anorexia.
I couldn’t stay on the unit forever, I was feeling too comfortable. I transitioned through the other program choices. A wonderful thing happened when I was informed that the only way I could leave was to be discharged to a team of professionals – a nutritionist, a therapist and continue once a month with Dr. “D”.
I knew that I still needed their assistance in a big way, as I navigated the world without the cushion of the unit. My life is quite different than it was. I still meet with my team – thank goodness. We discuss my highs and lows, any plans that I have that may cause a food crisis. My son’s wedding, lunches with Mom, holidays – they guide me through them all!
I make much better decisions at this point about my food, and have gained an appropriate amount of weight. I am not as much of a control “freak” as I was – there are parts of your life that are actually out of your control. Treatment teaches you to allow this lack of control to happen. My life has returned to me in much better form. I am so thankful for the support I received, and continue to benefit from.